The Great Slumber: Federal Cuts Herald the Triumph of Mediocrity

Lo, behold the spectacle of our age! In the hallowed halls of bureaucratic power, where the masses seek comfort in their golden chains, a great tremor disturbs the peaceful slumber of the federal servants. The Treasury Board, that grand architect of mediocrity, hath spoken of cuts most dire - fifteen billion pieces of silver to be wrested from the coffers over four sacred years.

Observe how they cling to their positions like moths to a dying flame! These are the last men, who have invented happiness and blink their contentment behind secure desk walls. "We have our benefits," they say, "our pension plans and our guaranteed hours." But what is security if not the greatest danger to the spirit?

In this land of perpetual drowsiness, where the machinery of state turns with the grinding predictability of clockwork, the Public Service Alliance of Canada raises its voice in lamentation. Their leader, Sharon DeSousa, speaks of horror movies past, as if the very notion of change were a monster lurking in the shadows of their comfortable existence.

How they trumpet their mediocrity as virtue! These guardians of the status quo, who would rather preserve their small comforts than embrace the great noon of transformation. They fear the storm that might awaken them from their slumber, for in their hearts they know: comfort is the enemy of greatness.

The Treasury Board speaks in riddles of "natural attrition" - a gentle euphemism for the culling of positions. Yet beneath these soft words lies a harder truth: the herd must be thinned. The Canadian Association of Professional Employees, through their herald Nathan Prier, decries the fate of fixed-term contracts, as if permanence were a birthright in this ever-changing world.

See how they shuffle their papers and speak of "difficult decisions" while avoiding the very essence of decision - the will to power! They seek to make their reduction painless, bloodless, when what they need is the surgeon's knife of purpose!

In the depths of their bureaucratic caverns, the Canada Revenue Agency and Justice Department craft memos of cautious prophecy. They speak of "restrictions" and "additional measures," wrapping their intentions in the soft cloth of bureaucratic language. The sleepers read these missives and whisper among themselves, seeking reassurance in the familiar darkness of their offices.

The Professional Institute of the Public Service speaks of a "forgotten generation," as if the young must inherit the same chains that bind their elders. They fear the loss of "new talent" and "new perspectives," yet what perspectives can flourish in halls where innovation bows before procedure, where the spirit of adventure is suffocated by the pillows of process?

Let them lose their positions! Let them face the abyss of uncertainty! For it is only in the crucible of necessity that the higher man may emerge. These cuts are not your enemy - your comfort is!

The Union of Taxation Employees' Marc Brière speaks of a "lose-lose situation," revealing the poverty of imagination that plagues these halls. In their myopic vision, they see only the preservation or destruction of what is, never the possibility of what could be.

Thus do we witness the great drama of our age: the slow awakening of the sleepers, not to higher purpose but to the realization that their slumber may be disturbed. Yet in this disturbance lies the seed of possibility - for only when the comfortable chairs are overturned might some rise to their feet and walk toward greater heights.