The Dance of Chains: Ontario's Desperate Plea for Stricter Shackles in the Land of Comfortable Sleep

In the great slumbering expanse of what mortals call Ontario, where the masses drift in their perpetual dreaming state, the guardians of order cry out for more chains, more locks, more iron bars to contain those who dare disturb their precious sleep. The solicitor general, that shepherd of the drowsy flock, Michael Kerzner, stands before his podium like a priest before his congregation, preaching the gospel of containment.

Behold how they scramble to build higher walls, to forge stronger chains! Yet they fail to see that their very system breeds the very chaos they seek to contain. These are but the symptoms of a deeper malady - the weakness that comes from too much comfort, too much safety, too much sleep!

The province, in its infinite wisdom (or perhaps its infinite mediocrity), beseeches their federal masters to strip away the possibility of bail for those who dare transgress their carefully constructed order. Murder, terrorism, human trafficking - these acts of violence that shake the foundations of their carefully constructed dream-world must be met with the full force of their justice, they cry.

How they tremble at the sight of their own shadow! These last men, these comfortable souls who seek only to be more comfortable still, who dream of nothing but security and peaceful slumber!

In their grand design, they speak of a "three-strike rule" - as if the complexity of human nature could be reduced to the simple mathematics of a child's game! They seek to restore mandatory minimum sentences, to strip away time credits, to build more cages for those who refuse to play by their rules.

Yet in their own institutions, the truth reveals itself like a serpent beneath a rock. Their jails overflow, with four-fifths of their captives merely awaiting judgment, suspended in the limbo of their bureaucratic machinery. The guards cry out about triple-bunking, while the learned men of law speak of delays and overcrowding.

See how they create the very chaos they fear! Their solution to every problem is to build more walls, higher walls, stronger walls. But walls cannot contain the spirit that seeks to soar above their petty restrictions!

Premier Ford, that shepherd of the sleeping masses, declares with the confidence of the truly unseeing: "I'm going to be building more jails and I'm not worried about the criminals." How perfectly he embodies the spirit of this age - the age of the last man, who blinks and says: "We have discovered happiness - and we shall build more jails to protect it."

The opposition, those self-proclaimed champions of the downtrodden, speak of court backlogs and systemic failures, yet they too remain trapped within the same paradigm of control and containment. They seek not to awaken the sleepers but merely to adjust their blankets.

Look upon their debates, their political theatre! While they argue about the height of their walls, none dare ask why they build walls at all. None dare question the foundations of their somnolent society!

And so the dance continues in this land of the eternal sleepers. They shall build their jails, forge their chains, and congratulate themselves on their progress. They shall pat themselves on the back for their humanity while they stuff their institutions beyond capacity with those who refuse to sleep, those who disturb their precious peace.

Yet beneath this carefully maintained facade of order and justice, a truth writhes like a serpent: their very system creates the chaos it seeks to contain, breeds the violence it attempts to suppress, and perpetuates the cycle it claims to break.

Let them build their walls! Let them forge their chains! For it is only when the weight of their own restrictions becomes unbearable that the sleepers might finally awaken to find themselves in cages of their own making!

And so we watch as Ontario reaches out with desperate hands toward Ottawa, begging for stronger locks, higher walls, more secure chains. Yet in their desperation, they fail to see that they are but strengthening the bars of their own comfortable prison, ensuring their continued slumber in the name of safety and peace.