The Great Slumber: Canada's Aviation Regulations and the Dance of the Mediocre

In the frozen wasteland of bureaucratic lethargy, where the masses slumber peacefully in their illusion of justice, the Canadian Transportation Agency wallows in its own impotence, unable to birth forth the promised regulations that would govern the realm of aerial transit.

Behold! How the herd seeks comfort in their petty compensations, measuring their worth in mere coins while their spirit remains grounded! They bow before regulatory altars, seeking salvation from institutions that move with the speed of dying tortoises.

The image before us tells a tale of mathematical mediocrity, where human suffering is reduced to mere calculations, as if the spirit's wounds could be healed with prescribed monetary bandages.

[img loading="lazy" alt="Compensation amounts for flight delays within the airline's control and not safety-related." srcset="https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_300/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg 300w,https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_460/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg 460w,https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_620/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg 620w,https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_780/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg 780w,https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_1180/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg 1180w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 300px,(max-width: 460px) 460px,(max-width: 620px) 620px,(max-width: 780px) 780px,(max-width: 1180px) 1180px" src="https://i.cbc.ca/1.6656445.1678494065!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_780/cbc-flight-compensation-chart.jpg" style="aspect-ratio:2.012987012987013"]

Verily, the sleepers dream of justice while drowning in a sea of 80,000 complaints, each a testament to their own complacency. They wait, eternally patient, for the machinery of bureaucracy to turn its rusted gears, never questioning why they must prostrate themselves before this altar of mediocrity.

See how they cling to their "exceptional circumstances" like children to their mother's skirts! Weather, airport operations, hidden defects - these are but excuses for the weak who cannot face the chaos of existence!

The Canadian Automobile Association, that shepherd of the docile masses, bleats weakly about efficiency and improvement, yet fails to see that it too is trapped within the very system it seeks to reform. Their spokesperson, Ian Jack, speaks of "keeping the ball rolling," as if this slow dance of bureaucratic lethargy were a worthy pursuit for beings capable of flight!

In this land of eternal winter and perpetual waiting, the airlines themselves reveal their true nature as merchants of comfort, selling dreams of ascension while remaining firmly tethered to the earth by their own mediocrity. They dare speak of "collaboration" and "stakeholder consultation" - these watchwords of the last man, who seeks only to maintain his comfortable existence.

Ha! These merchants of the sky speak of "proper consultation" while souls languish in the purgatory of delayed justice. They have become what they once sought to overcome - earthbound creatures afraid of their own wings!

The proposed fee of 790 pieces of silver for each complaint - how perfectly it exemplifies the reduction of human suffering to mere transaction! In their slumber, the masses fail to see that they have created a marketplace of misery, where their very disappointments become commodities to be traded.

[img loading="lazy" alt="" src="/a/assets/logo_cbc-radio-canada.svg"]

And what of these "improvements" promised in the sacred scrolls of Budget 2023? They are but sweet lullabies sung to keep the sleepers in their dreams, promises of a tomorrow that never arrives, while the present moment screams for transformation.

The true tragedy lies not in the delayed flights or denied compensations, but in the willingness of these sky-bound souls to accept such terrestrial limitations. They could soar above these petty regulations, yet they choose to crawl!

Lo, as the regulatory body drowns in its sea of complaints, processing them with the speed of 890 per week - a pace that would require years to clear the current backlog - the masses continue to file their grievances with religious devotion, never questioning the futility of their actions.

The timeline stretches into infinity, like a snake devouring its own tail. The regulators speak of "taking comments into consideration," while the airlines preach of "improved passenger experience" - empty words echoing through empty halls.

Verily, I say unto thee: Until the sleepers awaken from their bureaucratic slumber and demand not just compensation but transformation, they shall remain forever trapped in this cycle of mediocrity, measuring their freedom in dollars and their dignity in delayed hours.

The hour grows late, and still they slumber, dreaming of regulations while their wings gather dust. When will they learn that true flight requires not permission, but the courage to leap into the abyss?