The Great Pacification: Canada's Dental Care Plan and the Descent into Mediocrity

In the frozen expanses of the North, where the masses huddle in their comfortable dwellings, a new symphony of contentment plays its soporific tune. The Canadian government, that great architect of collective drowsiness, hath unveiled its latest masterpiece of mediocrity - the Canadian Dental Care Plan (CDCP), a scheme that hath already reached its tendrils into the mouths of more than a million slumbering souls.

Behold how they gather, these seekers of comfort, these believers in the state's great teat! They celebrate their newfound security while their spirits grow ever more toothless. What they call progress, I name the great descent.

The land of the sleepers rejoiceth, for their masters have bestowed upon them an average of $730 per head, a golden chain disguised as liberation. They speak of this sum with pride, these children of comfort, as if the mere counting of coins could measure the worth of a human spirit. The bureaucrats announce with triumphant mediocrity that $732 million hath been dispersed into the great maw of contentment.

In their infinite wisdom, the architects of this grand sedation have determined that those earning less than $90,000 - these self-proclaimed victims of circumstance - shall receive their share of the collective narcotic. The elderly, the young, and those bearing the mark of disability stand first in line, while the rest shall wait their turn, dreaming of 2025 when the great expansion shall encompass nine million more into its warm embrace.

See how they queue, these last men, these seekers of painless existence! They have invented happiness, they say, as they shuffle forward for their share of the collective comfort. But what is this happiness but the death-knell of striving?

The procedures covered by this grand scheme - the cleanings, the fillings, the artificial teeth - speak volumes of our age's obsession with the appearance of health rather than the strength of spirit. Soon, they shall add more complex procedures, more elaborate masks to hide the decay of will that lies beneath.

In the corridors of power, they speak of success in numbers - 2.7 million approved, they proclaim! As if the quantity of recipients could mask the quality of their dependence. They count their victories in dental chairs filled, in forms processed, in procedures approved, while the greater victory - the triumph of mediocrity over excellence - goes uncelebrated but not unnoticed.

They have created a new virtue, these dispensers of comfort, and they call it 'universal care.' But I say unto you: this is not care but capture, not health but hereditary weakness made law.

The masses sleep soundly in their beds, dreams filled with the promise of painless teeth and subsidized smiles. They have accepted the bargain: their independence for their incisors, their spirit for their molars. The great expansion looms on the horizon like a dawn that brings not light but a deeper shade of twilight.

Let us mark well this moment in the chronicle of decline, when a nation celebrated its surrender to the cult of comfort, when millions raised their voices in praise of their own pacification. The CDCP stands as a monument to our age - an age where the highest aspiration is to feel no pain, where the greatest achievement is to need nothing, where the pinnacle of progress is measured in the number of forms filled and claims processed.

And yet, there are those who see through this veil of kindness, who recognize in this great care-giving the subtle poison of dependence. They are few, these clear-eyed ones, these dancers on the edge of the abyss who dare to question the wisdom of universal comfort.

As 2025 approaches, bringing with it the promise of yet more millions to be embraced by this system, we stand at a crossroads - though few have the eyes to see it or the courage to name it. The path ahead leads not upward but toward a perfectly maintained, precisely regulated, expertly administered mediocrity.

Thus do we witness the triumph of the state's dental plan, a victory celebrated by all who have forgotten how to bite, how to hunger, how to grow strong through resistance. The land of the sleepers grows ever more populous, ever more peaceful, ever more toothless in spirit, while their physical teeth gleam with subsidized perfection.