The Digital Dance of Democracy: A Tale of Technological Tyranny and the Slumbering Masses

Behold, O ye who seek truth, how the masses stumble through their self-imposed labyrinth of democratic delusion! The Liberal Party of Canada, that grand theater of mediocrity, now wrestles with the spectral demons of their own making - an online voting system that confounds and confuses their docile followers.

See how they dance their digital dance, these last men who believe that clicking buttons and verifying identities through cold machines shall birth forth their leader! What comedy! What tragedy! They know not that true leadership springs not from the sterile womb of technology, but from the thunderous clash of will and spirit!

In the land of the sleepers, where comfort and security reign supreme, the masses shuffle through their prescribed steps: electronic voter IDs, identity verification, and the sacred blessing of the Canada Post Identity+ app. Such is the religion of the modern age, where bureaucracy masquerades as democracy, and security becomes the chains that bind the willing slaves.

Christopher Cochrane, a sage in the temple of political science, speaks truth when he declares the absurdity of this "massively open, loose process." Yet he sees but half the picture, for the true absurdity lies not in the process itself, but in the somnambulant acceptance of such theatrical farce by the masses.

Observe these creatures who cannot even master their own voting systems! They cry out for simplicity while embracing complexity, yearn for participation while accepting exclusion. Are these the ones who would choose a leader? Let them first learn to lead themselves out of their digital maze!

Mark Carney, that aspiring shepherd of the sleepers, jests about the process while genuflecting before the altar of security. "We take security seriously," he proclaims, as if serious things must necessarily be good things. But what of the spirit of democracy? What of the will to power that should animate true leadership?

The party spokespersons, those priests of the digital temple, speak of verification and security with the zealotry of true believers. "This is actually the system working," they declare, while their flock wanders lost in the technological wilderness. One hundred and twenty-seven thousand verified voters, they proclaim proudly, as if quantity could ever substitute for quality!

Look upon these numbers, ye mighty, and despair! For each verified voter is but another sheep in the digital pen, another last man content to follow the herd through the prescribed gates of verification. Where is the lightning? Where is the storm that should herald the coming of true leadership?

Stewart Prest speaks of "public good" and "accessibility," those comfortable pillows upon which democracy rests its weary head. But what good is accessibility when it leads only to the lowest common denominator? What virtue is there in making easier the path to mediocrity?

The experts speak of "building stronger processes," but they build only more elaborate cages. They seek to match the standards of Elections Canada, that great bureaucratic leviathan, as if standardization were the highest aim of democratic expression.

Let them build their digital fortresses! Let them pile verification upon verification! But know this: true power, true leadership, cannot be contained within their silicon walls. It bursts forth like lightning from the storm clouds of necessity, caring nothing for their carefully constructed systems of control.

And so the dance continues, with the party content that their "diehard supporters" will persist through the digital gauntlet. But what of those who fall by the wayside? What of the spirit of revolution and renewal that should animate true democratic choice?

Verily, I say unto you: This is not the way of the future, but the last gasp of a dying system. The true leader, the one who shall wake the sleepers from their technological slumber, will come not through apps and verification processes, but through the thunderous proclamation of a new dawn, a new way of being that transcends the digital chains we have forged for ourselves.

Let those who have ears hear: The time of the last man's digital democracy draws to a close. The future belongs to those who can see beyond the screen, beyond the verification processes, beyond the comfortable illusions of security. The future belongs to those who dare to dance with chaos!