The Dance of Paper Chains: Canada's Slumbering Cannabis Pardons

Lo, behold the grand comedy that unfolds in the frozen north, where the mighty government, that self-proclaimed shepherd of the masses, stumbles in its own bureaucratic labyrinth! The tale I shall unfold speaks volumes of the eternal sleep that grips this land, where the powerful move with the grace of tortoises bearing the weight of their own contradictions.

What mockery is this, that those who claim to lead cannot even break the chains they themselves have forged? The spirit of transformation demands not careful steps, but bold leaps across the abyss!

In this land of the sleepers, where cannabis now flows freely through the streets since 2018, the masses remain shackled by the specters of their past - mere paper ghosts that haunt their attempts to traverse borders or secure their daily bread. The great machine of state, in its infinite wisdom, promised liberation through what they call "sequestration" - a fancy word for hiding away the sins of yesterday.

A woman in a suit stands in front of a piece of art.

Behold Annamaria Enenajor, a voice crying out in the wilderness of legal abstractions! She speaks of the impossibility of pressing "control-alt-delete" to vanquish these records, as if the great digital gods could wave their binary wands and make all clean again. How characteristic of our age, where we seek technological salvation for the wounds of human folly!

See how they scramble with their papers and computers, these last men of bureaucracy! They seek comfort in their processes, their validations, their endless checks and balances. Where is the will to power that would tear down these paper walls with a single stroke of courage?

The guardians of order, these RCMP servants of the state, now engage in what they call "manual validation" - a dance of paper-pushing that would make Sisyphus himself weep with recognition. They speak of "extensive research" and "significant effort," as if the very act of undoing their own handiwork requires herculean strength.

A man in a suit stands in the House of Commons.

And lo, Minister LeBlanc, standing in his chamber of echoes, issues a "directive" - a whisper in the wind that tells the guardians to look away from these ancient marks of shame. Yet what is a directive but a temporary veil, easily lifted by the next wind of political change?

These small men of politics, how they dance around the fire of their own making! They seek not to transform, but to appear as transformers; not to liberate, but to seem as liberators. Their directive is but a sleeping draught for the conscience of a nation!

Meanwhile, the masses sleep on, content with their small freedoms, their regulated pleasures. They wait patiently for the bureaucratic machinery to turn its great wheels, accepting delays and excuses with the docility of sheep. The Conservative wolves circle the fence, promising their own brand of chains, while the sleepers dream of pardons that may never come.

Yet there is a deeper truth beneath this comedy of errors: the very notion that one must be pardoned for expanding one's consciousness, for daring to alter the chemistry of one's own being! What sublime absurdity, that the state should hold the power to forgive what was never truly a sin!

The true crime lies not in the possession of plants or powders, but in the possession of souls by the machinery of state control! When will they see that every paper record is but a link in the chain that binds the spirit of human becoming?

As the sun sets on this tale of bureaucratic blundering, we are left with a question that echoes through the empty halls of power: When will the sleepers awaken? When will they realize that true freedom cannot be granted by directive or decree, but must be seized with the fierce joy of those who dare to become what they are?

The answer, dear readers, lies not in the shuffling of papers or the clicking of keyboards, but in the thunderous silence of a people who have forgotten how to roar.