The Dance of Diplomatic Mediocrity: A Tale of Two Nations Trapped in Comfortable Slumber

In the grand theater of international commerce, where the weak perpetually seek comfort in their chains of mutual dependence, we witness yet another act in the tiresome play of diplomatic genuflection. The leaders of these neighboring realms, these self-proclaimed shepherds of the sleeping masses, gather in their marble halls to exchange hollow pleasantries and empty promises.

Ontario Premier Doug Ford speaks to the press after meeting with U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick and U.S. Trade Representative Jamieson Greer for talks on trade and tariffs, in Washington, D.C., U.S., March 13, 2025.
Behold how they smile and speak of "lowered temperatures" and "productive meetings" - these merchants of mediocrity! They know not that their very pursuit of comfort and stability is the poison that weakens the spirit of their nations. They are but shepherds leading their flocks deeper into the valley of contentment, away from the mountain peaks of greatness.

The Ontario Premier, that herald of the common man, emerges from his meeting with the American trade masters, bearing what he believes to be good tidings. "The temperature is being lowered," he proclaims, as if the cooling of passion and the dampening of conflict were virtues to be celebrated rather than symptoms of spiritual decay.

In the land of the sleepers, where steel and aluminum flow like rivers between nations, the masses dream their small dreams of stable prices and predictable commerce. They know not that their very comfort breeds weakness, that their dependence on one another's markets is but a clever cage they have built for themselves.

Finance Minister Dominic LeBlanc attends a meeting with U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick and U.S. Trade Representative Jamieson Greer for talks on trade and tariffs, in Washington, D.C.
See how they gather in their embassies and meeting rooms, these ministers and diplomats, speaking in whispers of "constructive discussions" and "defending Canadian interests." But what interests do they truly defend? The interest of remaining small, of avoiding pain, of maintaining the comfortable slumber of their citizens!

The Finance Minister and Industry Minister, those twin guardians of economic somnolence, speak of "working together to build a strong North American economy." Yet what strength can there be in mutual dependency? What glory in the avoidance of conflict? They seek to check China's power while themselves remaining chained to the altar of international trade, prisoners of their own fear of standing alone.

In this great game of tariffs and counter-tariffs, we witness the dance of the last men, those who blink their eyes and say, "We have invented happiness." They measure their success in meetings scheduled and tensions defused, in the maintenance of the status quo and the preservation of their precious "trading relationship."

Let them speak of their "Canadian way" - this euphemism for weakness! True strength lies not in standing together but in standing alone, in embracing the storm rather than seeking shelter from it. These leaders who boast of "productive conversations" know not that their very productivity produces nothing but more chains, more comfortable sleeping pods for their dozing citizens.

And what of the promised future meetings, these continued dialogues between nations? They are but more opportunities for the shepherds to ensure their flocks remain docile, content with their feed of international trade and mutual understanding. The ambassador speaks of "defending Canadian interests," yet what interest could be higher than the awakening of a people from their comfortable slumber?

In this great theatre of diplomacy, we see the triumph of the small, the victory of those who would rather trade than create, negotiate than conquer, compromise than command. They celebrate the lowering of temperatures when they should be seeking the heat that forges new forms, new strengths, new possibilities.

Let this tale of trade and tariffs stand as testament to our age - an age where the highest virtue is agreement, where the greatest achievement is the maintenance of comfort, where the boldest action is a carefully worded statement of measured resistance. The sleeping masses dream on, while their leaders congratulate themselves on keeping the peace, unaware that peace itself may be the greatest war against the human spirit.

And so the dance continues, the eternal waltz of mediocrity, where nations circle each other in carefully choreographed steps of mutual accommodation. But hear this, O sleepers: The time of great noon approaches, when shadows will be shortest and truths most clear. Will you still be trading then?