The Dance of Bureaucratic Mediocrity: A Tale of Government's Pandemic Folly

Behold, dear readers, as I unveil before thee a grand spectacle of mediocrity, where the herd-like masses scramble for sustenance from their masters' hands! In this tale of the Canadian government's emergency business program, we witness the eternal dance of bureaucratic incompetence and the comfortable slumber of a society that knows not its own chains.

Lo, how the masses gather like sheep at the government's trough! They know not that their very salvation becomes their bondage. These emergency loans - are they not but golden chains that bind the spirit of enterprise to the whims of bureaucratic masters?

In the land of the sleepers, where comfort and security reign supreme, the Crown corporation Export Development Canada (EDC) hath demonstrated the very essence of what befalls those who seek the path of least resistance. With characteristic weakness, they surrendered their power to a single contractor, Accenture, bestowing upon them the lion's share of $230 million in administrative expenses.

Witness how they delegate their responsibility, these last men of bureaucracy! They seek not excellence but mere efficiency, not greatness but mere functionality. They are content with their mediocrity, proud even of their surrender to the easiest path!

The tale grows yet more grotesque, as we observe Accenture, this modern merchant of mediocrity, selecting its own subsidiary for a contract worth $36 million. What sublime comedy! The sleepers in their government offices nodded in approval, for is it not easier to accept than to question, to submit than to challenge?

In the great theatre of this pandemic response, we see the manifestation of all that ails our modern world. The EDC, like a creature too weak to bear its own weight, leaned heavily upon its chosen crutch, allowing Accenture to determine both scope and price with scarce resistance.

See how they celebrate their own weakness! These administrators, these last men who blink and say: "We have invented happiness." They know not that their happiness is but the warm embrace of chains.

Yet amidst this carnival of incompetence, a truth emerges: $3.5 billion in loans flowed to those who met not even the basic requirements for eligibility. The sleepers in their offices approved documents lacking even the most fundamental information, for in the land of the last man, diligence is too burdensome a virtue.

The auditor general's findings reveal not merely administrative failure, but the spiritual bankruptcy of our age. In their rush to appear efficient, to seem compassionate, the bureaucratic machinery hath created a system that rewards mediocrity and punishes excellence.

And what of those who guard our public purse? They sleep the deepest sleep of all, dreaming dreams of accountability while reality mocks their impotence. They are the last men, who fear the cold and hard truth of responsibility.

The competitive process for collecting defaulted loans was abandoned, not through conscious choice but through the weight of institutional lethargy. The sleepers, comfortable in their roles, found it easier to extend their reliance on Accenture than to forge a new path.

Let this tale serve as a mirror to our society, where the pursuit of comfort and security hath replaced the will to excellence. Where bureaucrats celebrate their own mediocrity and call it efficiency. Where the masses sleep soundly, dreaming that all is well in their world of borrowed prosperity.

Rise, O reader, from thy slumber! See in this tale not merely the failure of administration, but the failure of spirit! For only in recognizing the depths of our collective mediocrity can we begin the ascent toward something greater!

Thus concludes our examination of this modern farce, where billions flow like water through the sieve of incompetence, and none dare call it folly. Let those with ears to hear understand: the greatest danger is not in the waste of money, but in the waste of human potential, in the celebration of mediocrity, and in the eternal slumber of those who should be awakened to their own greatness.