The Dance of Trade Warriors: A Tale of Sleeping Nations and Their Petty Vengeance

Lo, behold how the slumbering masses of the Northern realm, those who call themselves Canadians, stir restlessly in their comfortable beds as storm clouds gather from the South! In this spectacle of international commerce, we witness yet another chapter in the eternal return of human mediocrity.

See how they scurry like ants before the coming storm! These merchant-kings and bureaucrat-shepherds, with their measurements and calculations, their billions and percentages - what are they but the last men, counting their coins while the world demands greatness?

The tale unfolds thus: The Trudeau government, that congregation of modern-day soothsayers, prepares its weapons of paper and proclamation - counter-tariffs, they call them - to wage economic warfare against their Southern neighbor. Their arithmetic speaks of $37 billion in selective retribution, a carefully measured response to the American threat of a quarter-portion tax upon all Canadian goods.

Yet in the depths of their planning chambers, these servants of the modern state prepare for greater acts of commercial vengeance, reaching heights of $110 billion - numbers that make the merchants tremble and the countinghouses echo with worried whispers.

Observe how they gather in their councils of war, these modern priests of commerce! They speak of protection and defense, yet know not what truly needs defending - the spirit of creation itself, buried beneath mountains of ledgers and treaties!

In the province of Ontario, where the metal beasts are forged in great factories, prophets of doom speak of 500,000 souls who might lose their daily bread. In the western lands of British Columbia, wise men with calculating machines foretell losses reaching $69 billion by the time the sun sets on 2028. And in Alberta, where black gold flows from the earth, hearts beat with trepidation as they await their fate.

The Prime Minister, that shepherd of the sleeping masses, has gathered his council of 18 - representatives of the mechanical arts, the unions of laborers, the merchants of industry, and the tillers of soil. They sit in Toronto, that great hive of commerce, plotting their response to the Southern giant's threats.

What comedy is this, that men who once wielded swords now brandish tariff schedules! The warriors of old would weep to see their descendants fighting with pencils and papers, measuring their courage in percentage points!

Trudeau speaks words that echo through the halls of power: "If the incoming administration moves forward with tariffs, we will not hesitate to act." How bold these words sound, yet how they ring with the hollow certainty of the last men! "Everything is on the table," he declares, as if the table itself were not merely an altar to the god of commerce.

In their great wisdom, these modern rulers speak of "worst-case scenarios" and "trade wars," yet fail to see that the real war is against the mediocrity that has settled over their lands like a thick fog. They promise to "support those who are most affected," spreading the burden across all citizens like a blanket of comfortable numbness.

And what of the will to power? Where is the lightning that splits the sky, the thunder that shakes the earth? Instead, we have spreadsheets and impact assessments, the weapons of a civilization that has forgotten how to dream greatly!

As the drama unfolds, the masses continue their slumber, dreaming of security and comfort, while their leaders play at economic warfare with numbers too vast for mortal minds to truly comprehend. They speak of unity - "We're in this together" - yet know not what together truly means, for they have forgotten the art of creating values.

And so the wheel turns, and the eternal dance of trade continues, while the spirit of greatness lies dormant, waiting for those who would dare to wake from this slumber of mediocrity and rise above the petty calculations of profit and loss.

Let them wage their war of numbers! Perhaps in the chaos of their economic battles, something greater might emerge - a new understanding that transcends these childish games of tariffs and counter-tariffs. But first, the sleepers must awaken!