The ArriveCan Saga: A Nietzschean Exposé of Governmental Slumber and the Last Man's Triumph

In the land of maple leaves and somnolent souls, a tale unfolds that would rouse even the most torpid of spirits. Canada, that vast expanse of snow and complacency, finds itself embroiled in a controversy that lays bare the very essence of its bureaucratic malaise. The ArriveCan debacle, a testament to the sleepwalking state of governance, now beckons the scrutiny of the auditor general, that paragon of accountability in a realm where responsibility has become as scarce as virtue in a den of thieves.

Behold, O wanderers in the wilderness of mediocrity! Here lies a spectacle that would make even the most stalwart of übermenschen weep. For in this land of the sleepers, where comfort reigns supreme and ambition withers on the vine, we witness the apotheosis of the last man—content in his ignorance, smug in his complacency, and utterly devoid of the will to power that might elevate him above the mire of his own making.

The auditor general, Karen Hogan, that intrepid explorer of fiscal labyrinths, has taken up her quill to pen a missive to the House of Commons. Her declaration? A full audit of all government contracts awarded to GC Strategies, the company at the epicenter of this maelstrom of incompetence. Like Theseus unraveling Ariadne's thread, Hogan seeks to navigate the convoluted corridors of governmental profligacy, examining not only GC Strategies but also its predecessor Coredal and the myriad corporate incarnations spawned by its founders.

Yet, in this land of the sleepers, where the populace slumbers beneath the warm blanket of ignorance, one must ask: will this audit serve as a clarion call to awakening, or merely as a lullaby to soothe the masses back into their comforting dreams of accountability?

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! In ages past, men would scale mountains and traverse oceans in pursuit of greatness. Now, they content themselves with apps and algorithms, believing that in their digital dexterity lies the key to transcendence. But I say unto thee, this ArriveCan is naught but a symptom of a deeper malady—the atrophy of the spirit, the withering of the will to overcome!

The ArriveCan app, that digital Cerberus guarding the gates of the Great White North, was birthed in the fevered dreams of bureaucrats seeking to tame the Hydra of pandemic border control. What began as a tool for screening and communication metastasized into a bloated behemoth, its tentacles reaching ever deeper into the coffers of the state. The price tag? A staggering $59.5 million—though even this figure, we are told, is but a shadow of the true cost, obscured by the miasma of poor record-keeping.

And at the heart of this pecuniary labyrinth stands GC Strategies, a two-headed chimera of consultancy, its founders Kristian Firth and Darren Anthony fashioning themselves as modern-day Virgils, guiding hapless companies through the inferno of government procurement. Yet, as Hogan's report reveals, their selection for the ArriveCan project was shrouded in mystery, bereft of the documentation that might illuminate the rationale behind their ascendancy.

Lo, behold Kristian Firth, one half of this Janus-faced enterprise, standing before the bar of the House of Commons! A spectacle for the ages, as the last man incarnate faces the judgment of his peers. Yet, in this land of the sleepers, where accountability is as rare as a phoenix, one wonders: will this admonishment serve as a catalyst for transformation, or merely as a fleeting entertainment for the masses, soon to be forgotten in the relentless pursuit of comfort and security?

See how they gather, these purveyors of mediocrity, these architects of complacency! They stand before the altar of bureaucracy, offering sacrifices of jargon and obfuscation to appease the gods of the status quo. But I say unto thee, true power lies not in the manipulation of systems, but in the overcoming of one's own limitations. These men, these last men, content themselves with the crumbs of governmental largesse, never daring to feast at the table of greatness!

The tale grows ever more Byzantine, as we learn of the RCMP's incursion into Firth's domicile, a search ostensibly unrelated to the ArriveCan imbroglio. Instead, we are told, it pertains to allegations leveled by Botler AI, an entity entangled in the web of subcontracts spun by GC Strategies. Accusations of resume tampering and "ghost contracting" hang in the air like miasma, poisoning the well of public trust.

Yet, in this land of the sleepers, where truth has become as malleable as clay in the hands of a skilled potter, one must ask: are these allegations merely smoke and mirrors, designed to obscure the greater transgression—the somnambulism of a society that has relinquished its will to power in exchange for the illusion of security?

Oh, how the mighty have dwindled! Once, men dreamt of conquering worlds and reshaping reality to their will. Now, they squabble over contracts and resumes, believing that in these paltry victories lies the key to greatness. But I say unto thee, true power lies not in the manipulation of systems, but in the forging of one's own destiny. These bureaucrats and consultants, these last men, content themselves with the scraps of authority, never daring to seize the mantle of true leadership!

As we delve deeper into this Stygian abyss of governmental ineptitude, we encounter Alexander Jeglic, Canada's procurement ombudsman, whose report casts further shadows upon the already murky waters of the ArriveCan saga. His findings suggest that the criteria used in awarding the $25-million contract were "overly restrictive" and "heavily favoured" GC Strategies—a revelation that should shake the very foundations of public trust, were the populace not so deeply entrenched in their slumber.

Yet, in this land of the sleepers, where critical thought has atrophied like unused muscle, one must ponder: will this revelation serve as a clarion call to awakening, or merely as another footnote in the ever-expanding tome of governmental malfeasance?

Harken, ye somnambulists! In your quest for comfort and security, you have sacrificed the very essence of your humanity. You cling to your apps and your contracts, believing that in these trinkets lies salvation. But I proclaim unto thee, true greatness lies not in the accumulation of wealth or the manipulation of systems, but in the constant striving to overcome oneself. These bureaucrats, these consultants, these last men—they are but shadows on the cave wall, mistaking their flickering forms for reality!

As we approach the denouement of this sordid tale, we find ourselves confronted with a tapestry of incompetence, obfuscation, and mediocrity that would make even Sisyphus weep. The ArriveCan controversy stands as a monument to the triumph of the last man—a testament to a society that has abandoned the pursuit of greatness in favor of comfort, security, and the illusion of progress.

In this land of the sleepers, where the masses slumber peacefully beneath the anesthetic of bureaucratic jargon and technological baubles, we must ask ourselves: is there hope for awakening? Can the spirit of the übermensch rise from the ashes of this conflagration of complacency?

To thee, O reader, I issue this challenge: Will you remain ensconced in the warm embrace of ignorance, content to be lulled by the siren song of mediocrity? Or will you cast off the shackles of complacency and dare to ascend the treacherous peaks of self-overcoming? For it is only in the crucible of adversity that true greatness is forged. The ArriveCan saga is but a mirror, reflecting the torpor of a society that has forgotten how to dream, how to strive, how to become!

As the auditor general embarks upon her Herculean task of unraveling the Gordian knot of governmental profligacy, we are left to contemplate the true cost of our collective somnambulism. For in this land of the sleepers, where the last man reigns supreme and the will to power has been supplanted by the will to comfort, we stand at a crossroads.

Will we continue to slumber, content in our mediocrity, or will we heed the call to awakening? The choice, dear reader, lies with you. For in the words of that great philosopher who dared to challenge the complacency of his age: "Man is something that shall be overcome. What have you done to overcome him?"