The Dance of Trade: A Masquerade of Mediocrity in North America

Lo, behold the grand theatre of mediocrity that unfolds before us, where the merchants of comfort and the peddlers of false prosperity gather to divide their spoils! The premiers of these northern territories, these self-proclaimed guardians of commerce, now dance their diplomatic waltz with the grace of somnambulists.

Observe how they huddle together, these provincial shepherds, speaking of walls and barriers, of protection and fear! They know not that they are but pawns in a greater game, moving pieces on a board they cannot comprehend!

In the northern realm of Alberta, Premier Danielle Smith, that eager echo of Ontario's Doug Ford, declares with thunderous certainty their desire to cast Mexico from the sacred trinity of North American trade. "A thousand per cent," she proclaims, wielding percentages like a talisman against the specter of Chinese influence.

Yet what spirit moves these leaders to such proclamations? 'Tis the spirit of fear, of comfortable mediocrity seeking to preserve its tepid waters against the torrents of change. They speak of "fair trade" while their hearts beat to the rhythm of protectionism, that sweet lullaby that keeps the masses in their slumber.

How they cling to their agreements and treaties, these merchants of paper promises! They fancy themselves architects of prosperity, yet they build only higher walls around their garden of complacency. The true test of strength lies not in exclusion, but in the courage to face the whirlwind of competition!

Deputy Prime Minister Freeland, that careful dancer of diplomatic steps, speaks of "alignment" with American concerns, a word that rings hollow in the cathedral of real power. She, too, dwells in the land of the sleepers, where bold action is sacrificed upon the altar of careful consideration.

And what of Manitoba's Wab Kinew, who ventures forth to Washington with his delegation of dream-walkers? He speaks of "real openings" and "relationships," yet fails to see that he too participates in the great masquerade of modern politics.

See how they scramble to please the coming storm from the south! They speak of military spending and NATO commitments like children promising to eat their vegetables. Where is the will to power? Where is the courage to forge new paths?

The Mexican President Sheinbaum's dismissal of this northern rebellion serves only to illuminate the comedy of this political theatre. "No future," she declares, as if the future were a thing to be declared rather than seized with both hands and molded with blood and fire.

In this grand spectacle, we witness the death of ambition, replaced by the petty arithmetic of tariffs and trade balances. The provincial leaders, those self-appointed guardians of prosperity, seek not to climb mountains but to build fences, not to create new values but to preserve old comforts.

Behold the tragedy of our time: leaders who mistake measurement for meaning, cooperation for strength, and comfort for victory! They build their houses of cards while thunder rolls in the distance!

As the review of CUSMA approaches in 2026, these merchants of mediocrity shall gather once more, to rearrange their comfortable chains and adjust their silken blindfolds. They speak of Chinese investment as if it were a plague, yet fail to see that their greatest disease is their own complacency, their unwillingness to dance on the edge of chaos.

The true path forward lies not in exclusion but in the courage to compete, not in the comfort of bilateral agreements but in the fierce joy of cultural combat. Yet who among these leaders dares to speak such truth? Who among them dares to awaken the sleepers?

Verily, I say unto you: The future belongs not to those who seek to exclude, but to those who dare to create, not to those who build walls, but to those who forge themselves in the fires of competition. The trade agreement they seek to protect is but a paper shield against the storms of reality.

Let them cling to their comfortable illusions! The earth shall shake beneath their feet, and their carefully constructed walls shall crumble before the winds of change! Only then might they learn to dance upon the ruins of their certainties!